Why I designed a widows ring.
Hello. You have reached my web page. My name is Diane I am a now widow and I will share you my concept of a Widow's Ring.
Although I was a hospice nurse and thought I understood the burden of loss, I did not expect an amputation of my soul with his death. I did not expect the abyss, the constant loneliness, the separation from all our friends and family. I did not accept the urging from the counselors, the family, the friends, the co-workers to accept the inevitable, to get the grieving done, to "move on". It meant to me - FORGET.
I would not, could not erase him from my heart and mind and soul. I will always remember - he remains a part of me.
The 1st time I checked off the box [ ] widow- my world crashed. I understood complete solitude - I was NOT married anymore. So what did the rings he had placed on my finger mean? Should I wear a wedding ring when I was not wed?, should I remove them and bury them in a box ? Should I wait for a year to have a barren, empty, lonley finger as well as my life?
No... I will not !
What made sense to me, what was right for me may not be an answer for anyone else.
What I NEEDED was something tangible, touchable, visible and with me constantly, something I would wear as long as I felt the need. Something that held the love, the commitment, something eternal that did not end.
I envisioned a mourning ring, a ring in memory of our love, a ring that showed "Gone was not Forgotten", a symbol that endured into eternity, that showed the continuing grief, that showed Who I was now. I had lost a partner, a love, a friend in this life and I had lost myself. Didn't he deserve more than "moving on?"
My search took months, of endless tearful nights on the internet (you can find anything on the internet). I searched "widow ring" - and got endless Halloween spider rings, a reference to a widows "mite' ring". I searched "mourning jewelry" and found antique and expensive mementos of a Victorian Era. I search "grief", "my husband died", "I am a widow now", "what now", "what do I do about my rings". I found nothing to signify that a marriage and our life together had suffered a terminal ending.
What should a Grieving Ring look like?
I wanted a ring- a black ring, maybe a black tear shaped diamond. Black to show mourning, My 1st ring was a black diamond , a solitaire, shaped like a huge crystal tear. I felt it reflected my feelings, my solitude, my tears and I felt great comfort when it was placed next to my other rings. But, it was not comfortable with my other rings. So I began to search for another ring I could wear everyday next to my other rings. Someday, when I do take off my other rings, I will wear this ring as a solitary rembrance.
Although I was a hospice nurse and thought I understood the burden of loss, I did not expect an amputation of my soul with his death. I did not expect the abyss, the constant loneliness, the separation from all our friends and family. I did not accept the urging from the counselors, the family, the friends, the co-workers to accept the inevitable, to get the grieving done, to "move on". It meant to me - FORGET.
I would not, could not erase him from my heart and mind and soul. I will always remember - he remains a part of me.
The 1st time I checked off the box [ ] widow- my world crashed. I understood complete solitude - I was NOT married anymore. So what did the rings he had placed on my finger mean? Should I wear a wedding ring when I was not wed?, should I remove them and bury them in a box ? Should I wait for a year to have a barren, empty, lonley finger as well as my life?
No... I will not !
What made sense to me, what was right for me may not be an answer for anyone else.
What I NEEDED was something tangible, touchable, visible and with me constantly, something I would wear as long as I felt the need. Something that held the love, the commitment, something eternal that did not end.
I envisioned a mourning ring, a ring in memory of our love, a ring that showed "Gone was not Forgotten", a symbol that endured into eternity, that showed the continuing grief, that showed Who I was now. I had lost a partner, a love, a friend in this life and I had lost myself. Didn't he deserve more than "moving on?"
My search took months, of endless tearful nights on the internet (you can find anything on the internet). I searched "widow ring" - and got endless Halloween spider rings, a reference to a widows "mite' ring". I searched "mourning jewelry" and found antique and expensive mementos of a Victorian Era. I search "grief", "my husband died", "I am a widow now", "what now", "what do I do about my rings". I found nothing to signify that a marriage and our life together had suffered a terminal ending.
What should a Grieving Ring look like?
I wanted a ring- a black ring, maybe a black tear shaped diamond. Black to show mourning, My 1st ring was a black diamond , a solitaire, shaped like a huge crystal tear. I felt it reflected my feelings, my solitude, my tears and I felt great comfort when it was placed next to my other rings. But, it was not comfortable with my other rings. So I began to search for another ring I could wear everyday next to my other rings. Someday, when I do take off my other rings, I will wear this ring as a solitary rembrance.
I received my beautiful ring yesterday with the red heart broken into two and I was blown away I love it.i lost my husband awhile and I just lost my only child and wanted something to signify my deep grief and mourning, this ring is perfect.
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I am so sorry for your loss and I feel the only person who can even begin to understand the loss of a soul mate is someone who has lost theirs as well. I have taken my diamond off only due to a health issue that ring has been sized 3 times and I wear both or our bands on a chain around my neck. I love what you have done here and I agree they deserve more. I doubt he would have even taken his off if it were reversed and like I said mine would still be on but I suffer from a condition that makes them so tight it cuts off finger on some days and then so loose I fear I will lose them. I am ordering the same one you wear as I really liked your blog. May God comfort you and keep you until you are reunited with the love of your life.
Blessings Tammy
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I am not a Widow, per say, but I did lose my partner of 15 years to Cancer. He was the love of my life and I miss him dearly. So, in a sense, I AM a Widow.
Having no wedding rings to wear my new Serenity Prayer Ring next to, I wear it next to the ring he gave me for my birthday...a blue Saffire surrounded by diamonds on each side. It's beautiful together.
If I ever feel down in the dumps or lonely and missing him, I just look at the Serenity Prayer inscribed on the inside of the black band and feel better.
Thank you, Diane, for your thoughtfulness in designing these beautiful rings for us grieving wives and partners.
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thank you for creating something that answers difficult questions. In my case my significant other, my lobster, my soulmate died the day we were getting married. He was 45 and we thought we had time to do the formalities. He was diagnoised on April 27 and passed away on June 22. His last words in this world were "where is my wife Jessie?" when I went to his side he kept telling me "you know we are married." and ended with I love you. I feel as though I have been left in no mans land. He didn't put a ring on my finger but to him and me we are married. I was wearing an engagement ring I got to honor him, talk about causing a roar. This idea perfectlly fits the situation as sad as that is, but I dont feel right not wearing anything. We had intended on getting titanium rings so the black band with a broken heart is perfect, and also getting the trail of tears or the eternity ring to wear with it fits the situation. Thank you for creating something so beautiful out of your pain that helps so many people with theirs.
Jess
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When another person holds the key to your heart and soul, they understand and support you, they make you a better person, and you fit together like puzzel pieces - should anyone devalue that precious time you were given?
You were wed, melded, and joined by mutual feelings.
The computer age has its drawbacks but miraculously it has the ability to find others that feel just as you do.
Please check out this blog. Greggieswifey , you will find kindred spirits.
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